Sunday, January 13, 2008

So the new year started with sex tapes, inadequate cooking oil and flour, Sir Edmund Hillary (for those of u dimwits who are too ignorant to know who he is, he and Tenzing Norgay were the first to reach the peak of Mount Everest) passing on and the 2008 Dakar Rally being cancelled.

Okay, so all that sounds pretty sad right? But CHECK THIS, there IS something to celebrate! Well, not precisely celebrate but just to you know, be happy about... Okay, so some of you or most of you won't be happy but just read on and you may be a little enlightened... =)

Just when u thought a Perodua Kancil costing RM22,513.50 was DIRT CHEAP, wait until you take a look at the Tata Nano! What? Tata? Who the hell are they? Okay... Do you remember... When you were a kid... Staring out your daddy's car window... And then you see this man... Driving a huge ass lorry with a wooden plank for a door... And u wonder what happens if the bugger falls out... Yup, those are Tata lorries... =) Well, okay, so not all are made by Tata, just the ones with a big T in front...

Launched on the 10th of January 2008, the Tata Nano is poised to be the CHEAPEST car on the stinking planet! Woohoo! So you're probably wondering how much does it cost? Well, here is the magic figure... 2500 US DOLLARS! With a 3.2 exchange rate, that translates to just 8000 Ringgit! Now that is what I call, a cheap car...

So okay, you aren't exactly going to get the same engine or the chassis or the anything you get except maybe the lug nuts on a Ferrari F430 but hey, it's 8000 Ringgit!

And what do you get with 8000 Ringgit?

623cc 2 cylinder engine (A Proton Wira has 4 cylinders and is about 1500cc)

4 doors with 4 seats
! (I mean, I can't believe it, even the Ferrari F430 only has 2 doors and 2 seats... Way to go TATA!)

2 seat belts (same amount you get on a Ferrari F430)

4 speed manual transmission (okay, not exactly same thing you get on a Ferrari F430 but it's the same as the old school Kancils!)

Rear engine (Only found on super cars okay, so they have them on the old VW Beetle's too but lets not talk about that, doesn't really make it sound cool anymore)

Okay, lets move on to performance now...

33bhp! (Okay, this isn't really something that's going to propel you to 200mph but hey, it's 13bhp more than a rempit Yamaha RX-Z, don't play play!)

Top speed? 105 (no, not mph) kph!

It needs just 3.85 liters of petrol per 100km on highways and 4.5 liters of petrol per 100km on city roads. Okay, so what does that translate to? Assuming it is 350km from KL to Penang with a fuel price of RM1.92 per litre, it will only cost you just RM25.9 on petrol! Blimey right?!

All in all, kudos Tata!

I love India!

Friday, January 11, 2008

For laughs...

CNN: Is there anybody that is off limits for you? (to kutuk)
Chris: Yeah, Oprah...
CNN: Why?
Chris: Well, I might need a billion dollars someday so why piss off the only black person who's got it?


So I sat for the Accounting Unit 1 paper today and I guess it was alright, but as always, could have jolly well done better... *sulks* But hey, no one wants to read about me and my exams right? So lets get down to business!

With all do respect to my good hearted friend and fellow prefect and primary school mate Shazwi, I am about to blog about daddy.

The first weeks of the year, usually filled with lots of drama was privileged to have one more 'play' on hand, a rather oily one.

Malaysia, as we all learn in our geography books is THE LARGEST producer and exporter of palm oil in the world. Since all you humans are obsessed with statistics, here are some for you. We produced 14 million tons of palm oil from more than 38,000 square kilometers of land in 2004. Sime Darby alone as 524,626 hectares of oil palms! I mean, BLIMEY right?

No, no blimey... Because just a few days ago, there was a COOKING OIL SHORTAGE in the country. Imagine, biggest producer of palm oil in the friggin' world, but a COOKING OIL SHORTAGE. That's like, Saudi Arabia's petrol stations posting signs out of their kiosks saying, "out of petrol" or "no more diesel".

So naturally, one of the first people to get wind of the news was Minister of Domestic Trade and Consumer Affairs, Datuk Mohd. Shafie Apdal. Again, sorry Shazwi (Shazwi is his son). Well, knowing about the shortage, one of the first measures Datuk Shafie did was tell the public that there was a shortage so everyone would be limited to purchasing only 5kgs of cooking oil starting the following Monday (7th Jan 2008).

"It's a temporary measure to alleviate the shortage. It will help to prevent panic buying," he said. "We can't control 100 percent but at least people cannot buy more than 5 kilograms at any one time."

So what do you think frantic panicky cooking oil dependent Malaysians did? Yes, they emptied out the cooking oil from shelves before regulation could prevent them from getting it. Gee, I wonder why Datuk Shafie didn't think of that. Lets see, demand curve pushed right, supply curve pushed left, price ceiling because of controlled item, ding ding ding, u have a shortage! =P

Oh well, so the purpose of the 5kg a person rule again? Uh... Lets see, purposeless because the oil shelves were empty anyway.

Pfft, for cying out loud... =S

Wednesday, January 9, 2008


The Hewlett-Packard company founded by Bill Hewlett and David Packard in 1939 is now the world's BIGGEST technology vendor being the first IT company to report revenues exceeding USD100 billion (USD104 billion in 2007).

Okay, you're probably wondering why in the world I am bothering to blog about HP.

I bought a new notebook on the 8th of December 2007. The HP Pavilion dv2715tx which I am utterly pleased with in terms of specifications, design and aesthetics. I really think HP did a fantastic job engineering this work out art.

However, exactly a month after utilizing the notebook, when I tried burning an audio CD for the first time, after several attempts, the burning process seemed to halt when it was approximately 30% complete. So I was a little disheartened and disappointed because my product was malfunctioning.

I brought it to the HP service center which is located next to my college at HP Towers, Jalan Gelenggang. This was when my simple, but impressive HP experience began.

I was very pleased to see that they had ample parking spaces that did not require a parking fee for HP patrons. Moreover, the parking spaces were only a stone's throw away from entrance to the service centre.

As I entered the building, and looked for the contraption that was supposed to print a number out for you, I was greeted by a young Malay chap who saw me carrying my notebook and beckoned me to a machine with a touch screen. He then moved to press the necessary button for me and gave me a form to fill my particulars up.

However, before I filled my particulars in, my number was called. Due to the fact that I was distracted by filling the form in, the kind gentleman I earlier spoke about notified me that it was my turn.

At the counter, I was greeted by a nice Malay lady by the name of Cik Wahida. She wished me good morning with a nice smile and asked for my unit and also for me to describe the problem to her. As I described the problem, she listened intently and made a few notes on a form which she later asked me to continue filling with my contact and some personal details.

Before I knew it, she was typing some information into her computer and after a few clicks, her sticker printer machine printed out 4 stickers and she then moved to stick two stickers to my job sheet and another two onto my notebook.

She advised me on the numbers to call and what reference number to give if I would like to update myself on the status of my notebook.

I walked out of the service center with a smile on my face knowing that my product would be in good hands and that I was given good and high quality service.

From it's humble beginning in Palo Alto, California all those years ago by Bill and David to it's position where it is now, I would like to congratulate HP on making my experience with them an enjoyable one.

Kudos!

Monday, January 7, 2008


I am determined to write something about anything and everything I love and enjoy and this next post will be about someone... =)

His mother named him Saul Hudson (I mean, who the hell names their kid Saul Hudson) but he came out to the world and a family friend named him 'SLASH' because he was always hurrying from one thing to another.

He is regarded as one of the best guitarists of ALL TIME. But to me, he is THE BEST!

Strutting his leather pants (I think I could pull them off too!), top hat and cigarette in mouth on stage, he has never failed to amuse me and all other genuine rockers out there that he is indeed a ROCK ICON!

He played lead in Guns N' Roses until Axl Rose decided to be a fucktard and mess things up. He is now lead guitarist of Velvet Revolver.

With the aroma of tobacco marinating his top hat from beneath, Slash leans back, puts his Slash Signature Gibson Les Paul vertical, moves his fingers up and down the fretboard and wows the crowd.


Slash, you are a legend.


"Take me down to the Paradise City where the grass is green and the girls are pretty..."





Guns N' Roses - Sweet Child of Mine (Live in Rio)

So I was having one of those impulsive moments again and I decided to rename my blog after it being one day old... =) It is now called, as you can read or, if you can read...

"RANDOMNESS IS MY CONSISTENCY"


Malaysiaku Gemliang
November 10th 2007 - Peaceful Demonstration by BERSIH for clean elections.



Malaysiaku Gemilang
January 5th 2008 - Peaceful Demonstration for the abolishment of the ISA.



Malaysian cops, we really must applaud their undying efforts and grit to maintain this country's sovereignty and peace by killing democracy... =)

I must really take my hat off to some of them, like my friend Gabriel who's dad is a cop and apparently slaps a summon in the perpetrator's face when a crime is committed.

For the rest of you however, you remind me of kids. If I were any younger, I would actually envy you. I mean, biggest Super Soaker water guns in the world capable of blowing people off their feet! WOW! Nice red helmets with the cool visors that you can bring down... Big red shields with the word 'POLIS' across... Knocking them with batons and making lots of noise like when I was a kid to scare other kids off... =)

Oh oh, do you know what is the best part? If they start to whine their sirens at you (which means they're upset) you can cheer them up with a little candy; you know, the flat kind with His Majesty's picture on one side that comes in different colors and numbers on it.

Thank you Men In Blue, I salute you.

*yawn* Goodafternoon...

Good afternoon world...

I keep checking my e-mail hopeful of a response from track to see if anyone replied but it's evident that the admissions tutor is still on leave. Probably still stuffed with turkey and the whatever u stuff your stomach with.

Did u know that your stomach's volume is just 50ml when empty? HOWEVER, when u start pigging out it expands to about 1 liter and CAN expand to about 4 liters! I mean BLIMEY! Can u imagine? 4 bloody liters..! No wonder the admissions tutor is still on leave... =S I don't think you can poop all that out in one go... =S

Externals are on Thursday and today is Monday, man, the little voice behind my head (who looks like me, talks like me and is as good looking as me) is telling me that I should kick it up a gear and full throttle all the way... If only studying was as easy as driving a supercar... *thinks* Mmmm...

I shall leave u today with a video of the fastest car in the world (sadly only until the 12th of September 2007)... It is powered by a 16.4 litre engine which has 4 turbo chargers and 10 radiators to cool various engine components and liquids... For all you physics nuts check this, it produces 736 kW!!! 987 bhp baby! It is called, the Bugatti Veyron... Wanna know it's top speed? The video speaks for itself... =)



VW Ehra-Lessien Test Track


Old meets new... Must watch!
John Mayer and Eric Clapton jamming to Crossroads... =)

Every poor teenager's best friend... =)

Ever wondered why they call them QWERTY keyboards?

Jolly Bollocks episode 1

Hello world!

If you're reading this then you're 1 out of 1.244 billion people using the internet as of September 2007... =) Kudos to you... =D

Like all impulsive decisions, getting drunk, buying expensive lingerie for that certain someone (yes, the transparent see through ones), buying a bar of chocolate, spending that last RM12.90 in your wallet (including 1 cent coins) on that venti Javachip Frappuchino with extra Javachip, having sex or getting pregnant, I decided to come up with this blog - impulsively. =) HEE!

The word jolly makes me happy and I have a feeling I am going to type a lot of crap aka bollocks so I decided the most appropriate name for this blog should be jollybollocks... =)

Earlier today I was on Youtube (yes, one of those jobless people watching videos posted by other jobless people) watching Jeremy Clarkson test a Ferrari F430... So I again, impulsively, decided on calling this blog, I want to drive a supercar... =) Yes, with the three dots and the smiley at the end...

PS: I love M3's...

chiefsiao over n' out!